A really wonderful friend of mine is gone, and I don’t know how to process this without writing and sharing my love for Carlos and his family. His death has effected me deeply and the world will never be the same.
Carlos Batts is the reason why I know one of my best friends, April Flores. He made the movie that introduced me to her, he was there when I met her, and he’s been right there next to her no matter what we were doing. It’s hard to think of April without Carlos. I have no idea how a person can go on without their soulmate. I hope I never find out and I haven’t been able to stop holding my own person since I heard the news. You think once you have found the love of your life you know that you’ll love them for the rest of your life, but you never know how long that’s going to be. You may think you’ve got your whole lifetime to do all the things you wanted to do or say what you wanted to say, but that lifetime is never guaranteed to be long. So love now. Do those things now. Together Forever is right now, not tomorrow not next week not next year. This very moment. Love as hard as you can.
You guys, Carlos was fucking Awesome. Carlos had so many visions, even beyond the magic he created and released into the world. His films were political manifestos of love, lust, and hope. His art was colorful and bold and honest. His photography books were whimsical and dark and sexy. His fight for the renaissance of erotica was pure. He wanted so badly to bring beauty into our lives, he was powerful and assertive in creating change with his beautiful art. He was worthy of far, far more than he was given.
He took to my film sets like water. He understood the queer porn scene better than some of us in it. He is the only “LA Pornographer” that’s ever worked with me and our collaborations were fierce and full of fire. He helped me make beautiful, incredibly rich images and films. He brought my modeling and performances to a whole new level. I trusted him with my set in a way I’ve never been able to relinquish to a cis man. He was a feminist, a queer porn mafia soldier. And such a great fucking friend.
My heart hurts for April and her family. My love goes out to Carlos’ brothers whom I haven’t the pleasure of meeting. My love goes out to Dave and Steve and Carlos’ closer friends.
My heart hurts that there wont be any new C. Batts Fly films, I’m selfishly sad I’ll never make magic with him again.
I know that this blog entry is in no way closure for me or for anyone else. This isn’t healing any wounds, just bringing up more by reminding me what amazing moments I took for granted and things we’ll never get to do, like have an ARTCORE parade down the central paths of the AVN conference floor or shoot another masked matador sex tape or talk about feminist porn in an ivy league university or sip on milkshakes in the middle of the night, or or or.
We weren’t done with you Carlos, the world wasn’t ready for you to leave.
*This blog post is a BLOG JINX! entry, posted simutaneously with my good friend Jiz Lee on an identical subject. We have tackled this subject before, but thought we could use a re-visit as it’s close to election day. You can read Jiz Lee’s post on Measure B and Safer Sex here.
This month, the citizens of LA County will be making a decision that could affect the way porn is made within county limits. Measure B proposes that porn companies shooting within LA County limits must post a public health permit, require adult performers to wear condoms during sex acts, and require a blood borne pathogen training course.
You can read the measure here, or in it’s full legal glory here.
How do I feel about it? Well, above all, it goes to say that this law would not effect me whatsoever as a porn director, as I don’t direct in LA County. If I were to start performing in LA, I would probably be relieved by a condom-only set, because then I wouldn’t have to try to request one and risk not getting cast. But, that’s very unlikely to happen as my choices for work in LA as a plus-size, tattooed, queer, outspoken, and nontraditional person are, shall we say, very slim.
So, my opinion is based on my beliefs in the freedom of choice, and my background in sex education and peer-to-peer STI prevention. Instead of protecting adult performer’s personal choices, this law goes overboard by mandating condom use, rather than protecting the right to use condoms. It wastes government money that would be better spent on schools, healthcare, and creating new jobs. It denies performers the right to choose, regardless of what health reasons or other protections they may have in place.
I believe that STI screening every 30 days, a self-regulated practice currently working in the adult industry (aside from that Syphilis outbreak) should be mandatory, and that if a performer requests ANY kind of safer sex barrier on set, their choice should be protected and respected – no exceptions.
But, for the few porn stars that seem to be loudly against this measure, there seem to be hundreds of performers staying quiet about it as well. Is that because their ability to get work is at risk if they admit they are hoping that condoms become mandatory? Is it because, when they show up on set with safer sex barriers, they are laughed at and made to perform without them, or not get work at all?
While researching this measure, I noticed that the people investing money in the No On B campaign are not people I align my own politics with, such as the huge overseas company Manwin that owns half of the mainstream porn companies, nor Hustler or Vivid Entertainment, who while fighting freedom of speech, still perpetuate a hetero-normative, sizeist, racist, and misogynist profit-chasing working atmosphere, which is actually more silencing than free-ing. Not to mention, it sounds like this committee paid Mr. Marcus (the center of the recent Syphilis outbreak in LA) a large sum of money as a “consultation fee” after he started giving interviews about how he wasn’t well educated on STIs like Syphilis – which is what the Measure B is hoping to do with it’s required blood borne pathogen training and public health postings – two things I would vote for IF the measure was posed SANS mandatory condoms.
Why should I be for or against this measure? Well, I do believe in my first amendment rights, and I fight strongly for everybody else’s rights to freedom as well. So, while I do think that there should not be a MANDATORY condom law – I DO think that the CHOICE of a performer to use condoms and other safer sex barriers on set should be PROTECTED by the law.
So, I say No on Measure B (and if you are in LA County limits, please do vote no on this measure) but, if there were a measure to protect the performer’s right to choose a condom-only scene or not, plus the mandatory public health permits and STI training courses – I would immediately vote Yes. I don’t really care if my opinion kicks me out of the club.
In middle school, I attended a sexual education course outside of my school. This course included not only instruction on anatomy, conception, and relationships – but also alternative sexualities, and above all, safer sex.
In high school, I was part of the AIDS Peer Education Exchange, where I became a certified resource for high schoolers to come and find me on campus to get condoms and information about STIs and safer sex – since our country has misinformed generation after generation about sex. I took my job as a safer sex advocate seriously – and I still do.
Through my porn work I have always placed the importance of erotisizing and normalizing the general use of safer sex barriers (including but not limited to, condoms, latex gloves, and dental dams) – which is something that most porn companies just will. not. do.
In fact, most hetero-normative porn companies ridicule safer sex. Most recently, and what finally inspired me to write this post, is a series of images from Girlfriends Films (a male-owned girl/girl porn company) that depict two sexy lesbian porn stars engaging in oral sex, but using gloves and plastic to protect themselves. The caption to this is, of course, “This is what porn would look like if Measure B passes,” and to which the FREE SPEECH COALITION reposted with ”THIS IS JUST NOT HOT.”
Not only does the measure NOT say anything about the use of safer sex barriers other than condoms, but the comments made about these photos actually kind of turns me off to wanting to be on anybody’s side at all in this matter. I stand STRONGLY for the use of safer sex barriers in real life to prevent the spread of STIs, including in lesbian interactions.
I believe that even if porn companies want to say “Porn is not Sex Ed, and barriers don’t work for us” – MOCKING safer sex is damaging to the young men and women who watch your porn. If you respond with, “Safer Sex Is Not Hot, It’s Not Cool At All, and we don’t want to use it” – you are projecting that message far, far, far beyond your rights as a performer – whether you think your porn is educating someone or not. Saying that your porn stars are not role models of how to have sex, and what’s sexy is like saying that fashion models aren’t role models for how to dress, or what’s fashionable – or that a professional television chef doesn’t make food they want you to try to cook.
Unless you put a disclaimer that says “Do not try this at home, these are professional adult performers who are tested monthly and have chosen to not wear condoms for this scene” – your argument that porn isn’t sex ed is a weak one.
If Measure B fails to pass, I hope that mainstream porn companies will look towards the future with goals of self-regulation (like the gay porn industry has been doing already for decades, with no complaints from the performers, or the audience) and also, promoting the healthy use of safer sex barriers – if not in the actual scenes, in public service announcements and educational resources for their audience. Also, educate your performers on their choices to use, or not use, condoms.
SAFER SEX IS REALLY REALLY HOT, AND CAN PREVENT YOU FROM GETTING, OR GIVING, SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS. While it may not be right for the government to make it mandatory for porn, it SHOULD be self regulated by the porn industry, the choice to use it protected, and education free, available, and easy to obtain within the industry.
These are my opinions and I stand by them. I hope that more people will join me by saying, YES TO SAFER SEX, NO TO MEASURE B. YES TO THE PROTECTED RIGHT TO CHOOSE SAFER SEX, NO TO GOVERNMENT RESTRICTIONS.
And with that, here is my visual response to Girlfriends Films and the FSC:
The first way that I ever described the kind of porn I was making and buying for No Fauxxx back in 2002 was “Subversive Smut Made By Ladies, Artists, and Queers.” I still use this motto to this day to describe what I think “queer porn” REALLY is. And in many ways, I am very protective of this term. The adult industry can be a place that chews you up and spits you out, and I never want to see that happen to something that I hold so dearly. With the genre gaining momentum and popularity, I thought that if I wrote this post, maybe future directors, performers, and producers would benefit from the trade secrets of the queer porn movement. And maybe porn reviewers and porn watchers will read this and gain more insight on what Queer Porn is, really.
These are my thoughts and opinions, and while I coined the term queer porn, maybe these are outdated or personal opinions not shared by other directors. Maybe it’s not “mine” to define because I share this movement with hundreds of other people – but this is how I see it, this is how I believe it to be, and how I’d like it to stay.
First off, queer is a word that’s been reclaimed by gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans* and fluid, questioning, and kinky/perverted individuals who still feel like outsiders in the whole GLBT spectrum. It transgresses gender and sexual orientation, and literally means strange or outside of the box. Queer people actively live, work, and play outside of the boxes we were put in as children. We defy socialization. We defy what the world says is “normal.” We are our own normal.
Queer Porn Is Subversive. It actively works to deconstruct and incite revolution against the established porn regime, break down stereotypes, and put a positive, sexually charged spotlight on the kind of people that are considered outcasts, freaks, or imperfect – alongside folks that might typically get work in other facets of the adult industry, but also have strong feelings of subversion, politics, ally-ship, kin-ship, or intellectual or sexual attraction within the queer community. This is why you see so many “amateurs” alongside “porn stars” in queer porn. Many of us work as adult performers in the larger scheme of things, but find the queer porn movement to be more of our home, a safe place to work, experiment, learn, and express ourselves.
Queer Porn Is Ethical. So are other kinds of porn, of course. But I believe that ethics are on the forfront of our movement. I believe that queer porn should have ethical casting practices, and hire talented and professional performers of all sizes, races, genders, abilities, et cetera – without discrimination. I think this might be the number one rule of queer porn. Ethical casting IS queer porn. You’re not making it, otherwise. People of color, plus size/fat/big-bodied folks, and transgender, transsexxual, and genderqueer folks get work just as often, and get paid just as much, as everyone else. In fact, these people maybe even make up the majority of the players in the movement. While I just see this as common sense and decency, the adult industry is super fucked up to these people in general (need proof? google “blackzilla”, “bbw porn”, or “shemale surprise” and you’ll see why these kinds of politics are so important to a queer community) – and that makes my work super political, even if nothing is said (or perhaps because nothing is being said) when the camera starts rolling. Other ethics that the queer porn movement hold include equal and transparent pay structure (every company kind of has a policy of paying what it can – but all performers get paid the same no matter how famous or sexy they are or what sex acts they decide to do or not do, or what happens on set.) and active consent on set – the performers normally get invited to do whatever they find sexy, or negotiate with their costar (most often self-appointed) and the director on what they want to do or not do, whether they want to use condoms and gloves, and other details of the scene. This is drastically different from the rest of the industry – and believe it or not, this system works very well. What you maybe lack in mainstream glitz and formula – you gain in chemistry, trust, and creativity. You do more, and you do a better job, when you feel safe and respected – it’s common sense.
Queer Porn is Made by Feminists. Queer porn, because of it’s ethical casting and on set tactics, is inherently feminist. Or maybe its inherently equalist. It’s, if anything, highly political, even when it’s not saying anything outright. Queer porn is an equality-based movement, or perhaps an equalizing movement, that intends to bring strength and sexiness to all kinds of people. Women, ladies, dykes, butches, femmes, and feminists of all kinds work in the queer porn movement. We are BDSM freedom fighters, orgasm soldiers, sex positive sex educators with doctorates, mothers, activists, and outspoken sex workers. Women and/or femme-and-feminist-identified genderqueer people (like myself) are celebrated leaders in queer porn. We are the business owners, the producers, the directors, the talent, the editors, the light crew, the musicians, the camera persons. We are our own agents. We own our choices. We get to perform under our own desired working conditions, be it with condoms and other safer sex barriers, be it with our own chosen partners, be it based on finding and achieving our own orgasms, be it on dressing the way we choose, be it not being judged or hired (or fired) for the shapes or colors of our own bodies.
Queer Porn is made by Artists. This goes without saying. Shine Louise Houston, for instance, is a film-school graduate with a strong aesthetic vision and passion for her gear and her artistic rules. I also went to school for visual art – photography to be exact, and I’ve had gallery shows, published work, and awards given to me for my photos. Jiz Lee and Drew Deveaux both studied modern dance, Maxwell Lander is an incredible photographer, Carlos Batts and April Flores are experimental video and visual artists, using sculpture, collage, and media. Tina Horn is an incredible writer and drummer. Many queer porn stars are painters, performance artists, film-makers, fashion designers, and musicians. This creativity seems to soak our work down to the mattress – we aren’t just making a product for you to consume – as artists, we use our skills to express ourselves and our ideas, and evoke strong emotion from our audiences.
Queer porn is more than just people fucking on film. While you can sit there and have one hundred orgasms watching it, there’s so much under the surface. Politics, creativity, and individualism are basic, undeniable pieces of the puzzle. Queer porn is subversive smut made by ladies, artists, and of course… queers.
Queerly Beloved started 4 years ago when throwing a party in my backyard with a few performances, some great DJs, and some Jell-O shots seemed like way more fun then going to any of the mainstream “Pride” parties in San Francisco.
Something about the normal “GLBT” community has always made me feel alienated – or worse, bored. Bud Light Beer Gardens and Work Out Protein Powder and Lesbian Cruise Ships don’t really fit my sexual orientation, my place in the world, or my relationship to being an out and proud queer person. I don’t like being pandered to as a statistic, nor do I see corporate sponsorships as empowering – if anything I find them exploitive and oppressive.
I have always loved Pride Week in San Francisco though, don’t get me wrong. The long sunburnt days at Delores Park, being a supportive friend or lover at the Trans March, playing out my inner dykeyness at the Dyke March – but as someone who has never used the terms “trans” or “dyke” – there still wasn’t anything that celebrated my queerness – genderqueer, nongendered, punky subversive, pansexual, kinkyfreaky, cock-loving, pussy-eating queer goodness.
So in pure Courtney form, I decided to Do It Myself. And that’s why Queerly Beloved exists – as a haven for the hedonistic, label-scratching, subversive queers who can’t be defined by the over-produced, mass produced Pride(tm) events. All genders are welcome – and I’m sure that even people who do fit in to the GLBT will have fun at the party, if not a total mind-blowing fun-drenched blast!
And fuck, has it been fun. In years past, the performances, DJs, and crowd have been incredible. I’ve had people come up to me and say “THIS IS MY FAVORITE PARTY OF THE YEAR” – and this year, our host El Rio has finally proclaimed it “El Rio’s Official Pride Party,” which can only mean great things for this event in the years to come.
THIS YEAR is going to be SO FUCKING GOOD. I have asked my lifelong “BFF” (sounds silly saying that at my age!) Jenna Riot to help me host the party and be our headlining celebrity DJ for the event. She’s AMAZING! Also, Feminist Porn Award HeartThrob winner James Darling will be gracing the stage to do a sexy solo boylesque stripper set (or maybe he will surprise us with something totally different!) and the Queen of Indie Burlesque, the young up and coming star Dorian Faust will also be dancing for us.
The big news? I will be making my way back up on stage for the first time in San Francisco, and the first time in 7 years. I wont get into the details of my act, but be prepared for a messy, slippery, sexy triumphant return to live performance. I am SO ready, my friends!
Pride is all about the sun shining down on us, and every year, my back-patio daytime dance party seems to be bigger, better, and brighter… I look forward to it all year long!
Check out the event page for a full list of performers, DJs, and other goodies (like the photobooth, free food, and door prizes) for the party, or go head over to Facebook to RSVP – or straight to Brown Paper Tickets to buy your tickets! ($7 online, $10 at the door!) and there WILL BE SUPER TOPSECRET GUESTS this year, so stay tuned…
A discussion-oriented sex-positive salon for folks of all sizes, Fat Sex is a safe space for fat people and our friends to talk about our bodies and desires – including topics like body positivity, self esteem politics, fetishization/ hyper-sexualization, erotica/performance, and tips, tricks, and techniques for having fat sex! This interactive workshop will not be an academic lecture, but an inclusive brainstorm session and interactive discussion about fat sex, body politics, and the ‘body posi revolution!’
People of all genders and orientations welcome.
When: Sunday, April 22, 2012 7-8:30PM
Where: Come As You Are
Cost:$25/person (Sliding Scale Available)
Courtney Trouble has been a porn star, peepshow stripper, burlesque dancer, and fashion model – all while hovering over a solid and ridiculously sexy size 14. A queer femme, Trouble has radicalised their body as something to be seen and shared in order to bring awareness to fat sexuality. Courtney wrote zines on fatness and hosted an online community called Fat Girl Break Down as a teen before stumbling into size-positive erotic photography in 2002. The recently participated in Marilyn Wann’s “I Stand” Health at Every Size campaign, and posed nude on a busy street corner for the cover of the SF Bay Guardian. Trouble identifies as street smart, not book smart – and prioritises the importance of personal experience, crowd-sourced information, and the interactivities of experience and emotion. Courtney owns the award-winning porn sites NoFauxxx.Com and QueerPorn.TV, and has directed 13 adult films featuring performers of all sizes.
Featured photos reminiscent of Madonna’s epic nude hitchhiking photo taken with Dylan Ryan and trans performer Billy Castro; cover story written by Caitlin Donohue retells a queer adventure in Vegas for AEE and explores the difference between “lesbian” and “queer” pornography!
The SF Bay Guardian, this Wednesday published a nude shot of indie porn-star and pornographer Courtney Trouble on the cover and a fully nude shot inside featuring the star along with well known queer porn performers Billy Castro and Dylan Ryan. The article describes the recent QueerPorn.TV (directed by C. Trouble and Tina Horn) cast and crew trip to the Adult Entertainment Expo (AEE) to celebrate QPTV’s nomination for Best Alternative Website and promote the upcoming film FUCKSTYLES (of the queer and famous) available through TROUBLEfilms this week!
Both photos were printed uncensored and taken by photographer Molly DeCoudreaux, and the shot was a recreation of the Hitchhiking photo of Madonna, taken for her revolutionary, controversial sex book in 1992. The photo was shot on the corner of 18th and Castro in the legendary Castro district in San Francisco, predominantly known for it’s gay male sexual revelry, which has also been home to the GayVN awards, in the past.
Courtney could not be more thrilled. “This article and photograph are getting national coverage, and the movement I helped create is finally taking off in a major way.” She said with excitement. “This scene was built on love and I will protect it with every bone in my body. The San Francisco Bay Guardian has really broken down the walls today and I am proud to live in the bay area at such an amazing time in the fight for free speech, GLBTQ awareness and community-building. A photo of my naked body was printed in full color on the cover of a major urban newspaper, and inside with trans man icon Billy Castro and outspoken feminist sex worker Dylan Ryan. I am shedding my skin in the public eye and your love and support gives me so much strength.”
When inquired about his strip down, Bill Castro said, “I admire and love Courtney so much that i was honored they asked me to jump into the shoot and gladly ripped of my clothes. Plus, who doesn’t want to get butt naked in the Castro?”
For more on the trip from Courtney’s perspective of going to AEE see the blog she wrote here. Also, pick up this amazing collector-worthy, whiplash inducing copy of the guardian, while you still can!!
Press Contact, Courtney Trouble: firstname.lastname@example.org
Press Contact, SF Bay Guardian: email@example.com
“Exhibitionism for the Shy is the theory, Live Sex Show is the praxis… xox Carol Queen”
I read Exhibitionism for the Shy when I was “eighteen” and it changed my life. It informed my decision to be a phone sex operator, a burlesque dancer, and eventually a porn star.
When Carol said the above quote in front the tonight’s audience for the Live Sex Show premiere, a wave of emotions came over me. To use one million cliche’s, my heart skipped a beat. I was speechless. I felt a cyclical, generational, evolutional connection.
I owe my first TROUBLEfilms release to Carol Queen and Robert Lawrence. Thank you for trusting me with your brilliant idea of filming a porn film in front of a live audience. That you like the finish product makes me so. fucking. proud.
This post is an uncensored explanation. I will show you some photos. I will lay it out for you in a way that will hopefully fit within whatever your own gender and sexual situations may be.
GENDER AND ANATOMY
People of all genders and sexual orientations can participate in fisting and enjoy fisting. Heterosexuals do it. Gay men do it. Lesbians do it. Trans people do it. Some people can do it to themselves.
Ignorance often presents itself as an absence of representation. In the same, bigotry and hateful actions and words often come from ignorance. How much of censorship in pornography, and also in life, could we evolve out of, if people were to know more about things like fisting, female ejaculation, and menstruation sex? Sex is a universal language, we speak it globally, despite our differences. Pornography can be used as a common language, it can be used to introduce new ideas – remember when interracial sex was a new idea? Remember when masturbation was a new idea? Remember when lesbian sex was a new idea? Remember when BDSM was a new idea? Remember when free love was a new idea? Remember when safer sex was a new idea? Let’s make fisting a new idea.
IS IT PAINFUL?
There is an overwhelming sense that fisting is punching. That it’s violent. That you’re beating something up. That you’re hurting someone. That it’s abusive.
The truth is, any sex act can be done incorrectly, against our will, or by somebody we’re just not that into. Getting head can be painful and abusive if you’re not into your partner. Your favorite sex act can be destroyed for you if it’s done to you against your will. Masturbating can make you cry if you’re having a bad day. All sex lives in this liminal space – who we let close to us and what we are willing to do with them relies so heavily on our attraction and also where our bodies and minds live at that moment. If you are with someone you’re attracted to, that your body responds to; if you’re calm, in a good mood, turned on; and if you have the time to spend getting there – fisting is the opposite of all of those scary things. It becomes soft, gentle, sweet, loving, intensely beautiful, life-altering.
This is exactly why we need to lift the self-imposed ban on fisting in mainstream pornography. If we don’t show it the way it’s meant to be and how to do it properly, we will keep seeing only these violent images that are out there, and perpetuate this idea that fisting is dangerous or harmful.
I too have seen gross, scary, painful looking photos online of “fisting” – there’s not much of it but the stuff that out there isn’t always that pleasant looking. In the age of Two Girls One Cup. Goatsee, and Mr. Hands; some of these amateur-looking “fisting” videos have gone the way of shock value and disgust instead of high production value, education, and a good scene. And because there’s not much else out there to weigh against it, that’s all we see.
A NOTE ABOUT CENSORING FEMALE PLEASURE:
Remember that old movie Deep Throat? When it went to court for obscenity charges in the early 70’s, an attorney argued that it be censored, not because there’s cocks way too far down a woman’s throat, but because “the movie says it’s perfectly normal to have a clitoral orgasm, and that is wrong.” In 40 years we have not gotten too much further in the fight to bring female pleasure to the surface of acceptability. So when I hear a guy comment on fisting, “Stretch a pussy open like that?!?! GROSS!” I roll my eyes – go back to the 70s dude. Some of us want our pussies stretched out like that. Don’t be ignorant.
I’m going to speak from my own female pont of view for a second and speak directly to the heterosexual guys out there reading this: Women do not want to have sex with people who don’t know how to have sex. Want to get laid? Want to get laid over and over and over again? Get yourself sex educated on female pleasure. Learn about the clitoris. Learn about sex toys. Learn about anatomy, fingerfucking, fisting, female ejaculation, cunnilingus, dirty talk, BDSM, kink, fantasy role play. Your ignorance is keeping you down. The guys who get laid all the time (and aren’t just lying about it) are the ones who know what they’re doing. Pop Quiz: You’re fucking a babe. You orgasm. She doesn’t – WHAT DO YOU DO NOW? Your answer to this question is pivotal to your sex score. Thinking that female pleasure is “Gross” will get you nothing. No pussy for you. If you don’t know what to do with a pussy when your dick is soft – you don’t deserve any pussy.
WHAT IS FISTING?
Fisting is simply four fingers and a thumb sliding into a vagina (or ass, for those inclined and well-lubed). The hand then slips delicately inside the hole, past the knuckles and anywhere along the palm of the hand, even up to the wrist. It’s basically allowing the vaginal muscles to decide how little, or how much, the body wants to take in. The fistee is left feeling full, and often times the fister can feel the beating of the heart, muscle swelling, and the walls of the vagina moving up and down the hand. There’s a misconception that’s it’s forced in, when most fisting is initiated entirely by the person getting fisted. In fact, it’s usually the vagina itself that will decide to just swallow a hand entirely.
Once the hand is fully inside, it generally stays still, allowing both parties to experience that connection. Some movement is natural, and after a while, light thrusting may or may not happen. Every once in a while it might be faster or harder, but in general, fisting is all about a hand and a hole listening to each other very closely. It’s one of the most beautiful, intimate sex acts I’ve ever experienced. It’s sex positive and builds a deeper connection between sex partners. It’s encourages deeper communication. And most people who have been fisted will probably tell you, it’s one of the best ways to orgasm in the whole wide world.
The animated .GIF above is of me and my fluid-bonded, exclusive partner, and I wanted to show you the individual fingers and the wetness, so I skipped the gloves. There are many reasons to wear latex (or alternative materials if you’re allergic) gloves when fisting someone. First of all, it can protect you from STIs, though hand sex in general is fairly low risk – cuts on your hand or around your cuticles/nails should be covered by a glove. If you have long nails, you can put a little cotton under them and slide your hand in a glove. And overall, gloves are slicker and don’t absorb lubricant like skin does, so first-timers can use gloves to make fisting easier!
WILL IT MAKE ME “LOOSE?”
This is just a short note, but no – fisting will not make your pussy “loose” – not that you should be worrying about that anyways. Women in our society feel a lot of pressure to have “tight pussies” – that it enhances male pleasure, which is so often the focus of sex as we are taught to have it. Fisting, instead, celebrates the incredible elasticity, motion, and strength of our vaginas, refocusing on our pleasure.
Your vaginal walls will stretch only enough to form tightly around the hand inside it (a VERY pleasurable feeling for the person with their hand in an incredibly form-fitting hole) – and once the fisting is over, your muscles will very quickly, like immediately, go back to where they were before. I can usually grip one finger firmly about a minute after being fisted.
You can keep your pelvic muscles fit and “tight” easily in general, by doing kegal exercises. These simple flex-and-release movements will not only keep your vagina strong, it will improve your uterine health AND help you along a path to female ejaculation if that’s something you’re interested in.
WHY IS IT BANNED FROM PORN?
Adult industry lawyers have a list of things that can trigger obscenity lawsuits. This list, in no particular order what-so-ever, includes things like dripping wax, bisexual sex, blindfolds, and interracial sex – in equal offense with things that are actually illegal and totally fucked up, like rape, underage fantasies, and incest. Fisting is on this list. Right next to female ejaculation, which has it’s own AVN award. I’d love to see “Best Fisting Scene” next year – I bet I’d win!
This list was created by Paul Cambria in 2001, and is known as the Cambria list. On this list, fisting (and squirting, sharing a dildo, wax dripping, blindfolds, bondage toys, transsexuals, bi-sexual sex, menstruation sex, and interracial sex) are listed in equality with underage fantasies, rape, necrophilia, incest, and bestiality. Bukkake and facial ejaculation shots are also on this list.
Why most of these sex acts or themes have been allowed into the mainstream adult showcase while fisting remains as prohibited as some of the more serious acts is beyond me (SEE NOTE ABOUT FEMALE PLEASURE). Further more, many of these prohibited things, such as transsexuals, bisexual sex, menstruation, and squirting, identify a larger problem within the community of adult industry lawyers that mandate these guidelines, and the filmmakers and producers that perpetuate this list’s power over our work – that the adult industry at large is misogynist and homophobic.
Fisting is important to me because it’s so intimate. Usually, it’s slow, connected, loving, sex. I think people assume that fisting is fast, painful, scary. If it’s done correctly, it’s exactly the opposite. It takes time, lubrication, eye contact, connectedness. It’s my favorite kind of sex to have with my boyfriend.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
If you, like me, love fisting and want to see it become a less shamefull, tabboo sex act. If you, like me, want the world to understand what it is, and how to do it safely. And if you, like me, want to see it included in all those porn scenes where it’s been edited out, angled out, or removed entirely, here’s what we can do:
– Come Out! Tell the world you like fisting. That you’ve tried it. That you want to try it. Sex positivity is about opening up, it’s about being out of the closet, and embracing the lost list of desires out there in the wolrd.
– Support the pornographers who are taking a stand, and letting the fist stay in! These porn sites include QueerPorn.Tv, No Fauxxx, Crash Pad Series (the website, not the DVDs), and Good Dyke Porn (all queer, indie sites), and check out my new film Live Sex Show, a brand new release that features a gorgeous fisting scene with Nina Hartley and Jiz Lee, as well as 5 other scenes that were shot all in one day in front of an audience of 200! The film Trans Entities also has a fisting scene in it, if you can find it!!!
Everyone watches porn in fast-forward. This year, I made it in fast-forward. In fact, my entire life was in fast-forward. Don’t know how best to explain it than to do a Year In Review. So, let’s get to it. Let’s play catch-up.
Exactly One Year Ago, I spent New Years Eve talking about the future with Jiz Lee and Morty Diamond, and we all had something in common. we each wanted to branch out and treat our audiences to something special. we did. Jiz Lee became a boundary-breaking, indie-to-mainstream crossover genderqueer porn star, Morty Diamond started a book. and I… well, that’s what this post is about.
january 2010: i released my film bordello, a storyline flick that was shot last-minute by one of my artistic sexual heros, eon mckai. april flores and billy castro blew my mind in the opening scene (link to full scene, at NoFauxxx.Com), and to this day, i wish all of my work days were like the two i spent on that set. i also attended the AVN Awards (My films No Fauxxx Roulette and Speakeasy were both nominated) with Jiz Lee(nominated for Best New Web Star) andDylan Ryan (also nominated), where we solidified the Queer Porn Mafia and subsequently, won quite a funny award: Most Outrageous Red Carpet Moment. I also got my photo taken for Last Night’s Party(man was Bronques oh-so-crushworthy!) And as a personal aside, at the end of the month, my partner and I broke up after 2.5 years, and the sexual, sensual, emotional, and intellectual journey I was meant to go on commenced.
february: my film Billy Castro Does the Mission was released, featuring one of my muses Billy Castro in four groundbreaking scenes between him, an FTM, three femmes and a genderqueer. i tried to recover from my break-up, and may or may not have had a threesome with two queer porn stars after a nefarious dance party. i also shot Seven Minutes In Heaven 3: Fuck Yeah that month, and made out with Jiz Lee in a jerk booth at the Lusty Lady on Valentine’s Day! I still haven’t taken my jacket to dry cleaning… i also took myself on a life-altering solo trip to honolulu (link to flickr photoset!), where i learned than being single never means being alone when a nationally-noticed tsunami warning made me go over my cell phone minutes by a landslide.
march: released Seven Minutes In Heaven 3: Fuck Yeah, marking the end of a year-long streak of releasing a film at least once a month. i also performed in my first threesome sex scene – which you might never see due to it’s heavy nature – a full-on rape scene.
june:my porn scene with Jiz Lee is released at Padded Kink, a site I am obsessed with (because it’s like Kink.Com except the producers hire, and prefer, chubby performers and embrace queer sexuality in a low-key, totally marketable way), and production for a new porn site to accompany No Fauxxx start to give birth with QueerPorn.TV starting with a late-night video shoot with Mickey Mod and Drew Deveaux… i also perform with Maxine Holloway for the first time in a scene for her short film The Outlaw, and get published on the cover of the San Francisco Guardian for The “Queers We Adore” feature. threw a huge Pride Sunday Party, the second annual Queerly Beloved and end up in a kiddy pool full of glitter! …in other news, my little sister moved in with me in june… and she’s now my domestic soulmate.
july: my sets go up on cocksexual, a new site dedicated to strap-on sex. i also attend the live-streaming Kink.Com Upper Floor party for Madison Young’s Thin Line Between Art & Sex and end up getting my ass majorly kicked (loved it, btw) by Jack Hammer (a BDSM porn star I’m sure you’ll notice soon!) and being the focus on a Fucking-Machine Foursome with Jiz Lee, Billy Castro, and my from-then-on porn love-of-my-life Maxine Holloway. in more personal news, i went to my dad’s three-day-long hippie wedding in the woods, got to walk him down the isle, and totally predicted that his bride was about two weeks pregnant.
august: i fall in love with my boyfriend and stop writing things in my calendar with such detail-oriented candor. he wraps me up in summer love, puppy love, real love – whatever song you want to call it. i spend my days either having the best sex i’ve ever had with him, or, editing QueerPorn.TV porn scenes with my new busniess partner, Tina Horn.
november: in toronto, i screen Scout and Lascivia’s amazing amateur, switchy, queer porn scene for a Feminist Porn Awards benefit. I also end up in the hands of Aslan Leather owner Carrie Gray for an exclusive scene for QueerPorn.TV, to be released in early 2011. I bottomed out like crazy and squirted all over the place, something i hadn’t yet been able to showcase in porn performances… and now i just can’t quit. also, the most important thing that happened in november? I launched not onlyQueerPorn.TV, a new queer porn site where you can buy individual scenes as well as subscribe to a monthly membership – but I also launched my new favorite thing, QueerPornTube.Com – a completely-free tube site (like X-Tube, kinda, except queer) that immediately takes off, thanks to my faithful twitter pals.
december: deeply in love, i wrap up the year in reflection and solid conviction, and some lovely rewards. i’ve been nominated for an AVN Award for Best Pro-Am Release for the first Seven Minutes In Heaven. that’s like being my next door neighbor and getting nominated for an oscar. The issue of Bend Over Magazine with my photo of Dylan Ryan comes out. I get put on Velvetpark’s Top 25 Most Influencial Queer Women of 2010. my dad’s wife is pregnant with identical twin girls. the first 3 months of 2011 are booked solid with travel and parties. in a week i’ll be sucking April Flores’ toes for Coop, walking down the AVN Awards Red Carpet with my friends Mickey Mod, Tina Horn, and Shine Louise Houston.
Adult entertainment in 2009 looks a whole lot different than it did in 1999. In your opinion, what’s been the single biggest change this decade?
I’m young, so the past ten years of porn have really been all I’ve truly experienced, but I’ve got to say that in the past ten years, I have seen so many independent porn ventures rise and fall on the internet. A good few of them, including my site NoFauxxx.Com, have really succeeded in creating a long-term brand and legacy, while others came and go like night clubs. With this whole do-it-yourself dot.com take on pornography, I think many subcultures have been able to create, sell, and experience pornography, which I could be wrong but I don’t think that was happening in the 80s or 90s. Porn has really moved away from something that lives, breaths, and does payroll in “Porn Valley” and become somethign that anybody can do, and making a living from, all over the world. I think the single biggest change has been not just the internet, but the internet’s ability to let subcultures and independant pornographers reach worldwide audiences, making limitless room for creative pornography projects. The big companies can complain all they want about how the internet has killed their profits, but the plus side is that people like me have a chance to do our work and gain visibility.
You launched NoFauxxx in 2002. What was the industry like back in those days? What motivated you to start your own site?
I dind’t have much part in the “Industry” until much more recently. Back in 2002, I was 19, living in Olympia as a tiny Riot Grrrl nugget, and rebellious against not only mainstream porn but alt porn that wasn’t inclusive of people of larger sizes, varied genders, or racially diverse. SG lived in Portland and was still considered the most empowering porn out there, and it still didn’t feel like enough – and that was really the motivation behind starting the site. The term “Queer Porn” didn’t exists what-so-ever, even though a few things like Ssspread.Com and SIR Productions were making what I would consider “queer porn” back in the day. But nobody called it that until No Fauxxx hit the scene. So, for me, I was creating images for fun, not realising that what I was doing was creating a genre for my work and others to follow.
How has NoFauxxx changed over the years?
It started out as such a tiny site, with just me and a few of my brave friends from Olympia. I was a phone sex operator and was really obsessed with having a balance of “fantasy” and “reality” in my work, so No Fauxxx became an outlet for me to make erotic art that showed the “reality” of the sexuality in my community. The photos were DIY digital on a bulky Nikon CoolPix, couldn’t get them much larger than 600 pixels, and didn’t even own a light set, studio props, or a video camera. I shot people’s “realness,” asked them to be themselves, and shot in very natural, intimate places. The goal of realness is still a factor these days, but there’s a lot more tools of the trade and high-concept storyline on my set these days. I still really love shooting someone masturbating with no makeup on, that will never change – but I’ve evolved to use better tools to get that done.