dylan ryan, me, jiz lee, april flores, carlos batts - avn red carpet 2010

This is a “Blog Jinx” with jiz lee – meaning we agreed to write and post about the same subject simutaneously. i think she did a better job than i did.

holding hands with jiz lee and dylan ryan on the aee floor, pushing our way through the pervs to meet up with casting contacts, friends, businesses, and stars, it struck me: no longer shouting from the top of our lungs to be heard, we are now speaking slightly above average volume about the visibility of queer people in porn. and everybody is listening.

all of us nominated for the 2010 avn awards, a historical event. we were a gang of graduated misfits. no longer sneaking dvd-r’s of undistributed, unwatched works into the purse of fleshbot. no longer struggling for recognition, lost in an army of agents, disbelievers, and bobbleheads. instead we are being noticed, discussed, and celebrated.

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my trip started with up-and-coming porn and fetish star dia zerva picking me up from the airport. 2 hours and 2 vodka-sodas later, i was shooting my very first (non-trans) boy/girl scene with her and her real life man wordman, their six cats waiting in the wings for thier own kisses, scratches, and spanks.

it was an amazing experience, and i am so grateful to both of them for at once listening to my ideas of what a “hetero” scene should look like in this evolving world, and incorporating their own incredible chemistry and ideas into the scene. it ended up feeling like any of my other scenes, and i realised that shooting boy/girl doesn’t mean i’m not shooting queerly.

after the scene we quickly (well, not really) got ready for good releasing‘s aee welcome party. i was looking forward to hooking up with my hotel mates jiz and dylan, and jumping right in to my only goal for the weekend: make new friends, and squeeze the old. immediatly i ran right into april flores, whom i met at last year’s avn and immediatly fell into a deep, intulectual, creatively-driven friendship with. it was amazing to see her for the fifth time in a year and celebrate all that we had accomplished together thus far (notably nostalgia, roulette dirty south, and bordello).

while out in the hall sneaking cigarettes with alison from good for her (and manager of the feminist porn awards) i ran into my newest collaboration buddy eon mckai, another person i met at

last year’s avn that means a lot to me only one short year later. he was on an adventure with his friend bronques, who runs lastnightsparty.com, and for the first time in a very, very long time i was a little starstruck. you see, lastnightsparty is a project i’ve been following for years, a photography style that i really fucking admire – and here was the (very sexy) genius behind it taking my photo right off the bat. that was a big highlight of my weekend, along with meeting aiden starr too.

oh and here’s a really strange video i took in the elevator after the good releasing party.

AVN Vegas Weekend Unleashed – Eon McKai, Bronques, Last Nights Party, Dana DeArmond, Jiz Lee, Aiden Starr, Dylan Ryan, Courtney from Courtney Trouble on Vimeo.

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day two, we get down to business. dylan ryan, jiz lee, and i are all getting ready in our hotel room. here’s another video i took while getting ready for the aee floor.

Dylan Ryan, Jiz Lee, Courtney Trouble Porn Fashion Philosophies from Courtney Trouble on Vimeo.

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on the floor was pretty exciting. dylan ryan got lots of prospects for mainstream work, and it was interesting hearing her reasons to why or why not walk up to a certain producer. jiz lee was recognised by both fans and other porn stars, including sasha grey. belladonna pulled out of her signing line to give us all hugs. if the industry doesn’t know about or care about queer porn, the opposite is certainly true amoung the industry’s smartest, artsiest producers and performers.

the night got a little interesting. skipping all the early parties, we relaxed in our hotel room and took our time applying 5 pounds of fake lashes for our night on the town. we didn’t end up going to the big fake lashes party (hosted by eon mckai and bronques) but instead made a quick stop to satine’s “ultimate afterparty” fetish private party. hung out with wolf hudson and dia zerva, and ended up cuddled in a corner falling asleep.

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saturday was the day we were all waiting for – the red carpet seemed more exciting and lucrative to me than actually winning an award, and we really lived it up. i’m not sure if anybody’s ever whipped thier cock out on the red carpet, but jiz lee was certainly the first-ever female to do it!

in the end, nobody won any awards. champion by shine louise houston had clips showing at the beginning of the cerimony, but didn’t end up winning. good releasing, nominated for best new video production company, were all in attendance, but someone else took home the prize. sitting there the reality of the industry became apparent – stars i had never heard of hosted the show, won the awards, sat in the front row. evan stone and jessie jane clones were everywhere and seemed to be the biggest winners. aside from sasha grey, kimberly kane, and belladonna winning awards, it really wasn’t anything special or ground-breaking as far as actual winners go.

you know, some of us want to be famous in porn. some of us want to be famous, but in our own ways. many of us just want to do it for the fun, the freedom, the meaning behind each scene. one thing we can all atest to is the importance of queer visibility in the industry, and it’s been a struggle for quite some time. i feel like we have broke some serious ground, and maybe next year we will be up on that stage.

jiz lee and dylan ryan falling asleep

until next year…

My mind was blown this morning. I was recently introduced to Kelly Shibari last week after watching Carlos Batt’s “Dangerous Curves” trailer. She is definately hot and smart and has no problem proving so on her many websites and twitter account, whish is seriously blowing up today after her annoucement of the launch of PaddedKink.Com – an all plus size bdsm/kink porn site.

This is literally the first, or at least best, of it’s kind. I read a line in the video trailer that really spoke to me and fucking rocked my world: “The Kink sites wont do it, the Porn sites don’t know how” – and that’s so fucking true. I can’t tell you how many times I have applied for “The Armory” as a model and have never even received a reply. It’s not because I’m not hot or experienced, either.

This basically reminds me of when and why I started NoFauxxx.Com in 2002. I kept getting pissed off that sexy-as-all-hell (and not in that “everybody’s beautiful” kind of way either) fat girls were applying for alt porn sites like s/g and getting burned. No Fauxxx was, for the most part, the only place plus sized alt girls could go to make some respectable porno.

I am so excited to see this site grow and grow and grow. And hopefully, you’ll be seeing my very first bondage scene on there someday soon.

Congrats to PaddedKink.Com on their incredible launch.

Free Video from PaddedKink.Com (via tour page)

Last year, I went to AVN as a stowaway really. Playing assistant to the Babeland buyer, I cleaned up after the big party, made myself useful for the buyer during meetings, ang shuffled around little handmade Roulette DVD-Rs to people I met that I though could help me finish it, distribute it, and you know, get famous.

I also met four people I admire, respect, and generally look up to as artistic muses and role models: Eon McKai, April Flores, Tristan Taormino, and Nina Hartley.  Eon and April have become my friends since last year, and it feels like Christmas every time I get to work with either one of them.

For some, the AVN Awards might seem silly, redundant, even down right ridiculous. But to those of us that have been invisible as artists, performers, and magic-makers for so long, being recognised as some of the best is truly an honor. It is so fucking cool that queer porn invisibility has been shattered on this day.

Here is a list of everything I had a hand in that was nominated.

Best Music Soundtrack: Roulette, directed by Courtney Trouble (featuring music by Erase Errata, Scream Club, Katastrophe, Delta Dart, French Quarter, and my wife’s band Cottages)

Best Music Soundtrack: Speakeasy, directed by Courtney Trouble (featuring songs from the 40′s I found on Archive.Org)

Champion, Best Feature Film, non-sex role by Trouble (plus, director Shine Louise Houston, Syd Blakovich, Jiz Lee, Madison Young, and Dylan Ryan!)

Good Releasing, Best New Video Production Company, the company that all my films are funded, produced, and distributed by

And an extra special congratulations to Jiz Lee, nominated for Best New Web Starlet, Dylan Ryan for her incredible solo performance in Crash Pad Series 3, Carols Batts for Best Director (Voluptuous Biker Babes starring April Flores), Kimberly Kane and all 7 of her nominations, Eon for his nominations for Content and On Your Dirty Knees, and Good Vibes for Best Online Retailer.

1. courtneytrouble okay im done #livetweetingporn – this movie rocks my world. thanks the the monster for editing for me, im glad i gotchya! 11 minutes ago from Power Twitter
2. courtneytrouble #livetweetingporn http://yfrog.com/eb854ij - this may be one of the hottest htings i’ve ever seen… where are those hands going? 14 minutes ago from Power Twitter



3. courtneytrouble #livetweetingporn OH I SEE.. they were to busy getting ready to have a SEVEN PERSON GANGBANG. holy crap! 16 minutes ago from Power Twitter
4. courtneytrouble #livetweetingporn cameo by @jizlee is soooo cute and funny! who could say no to that pout? and she even brought a vibrator! damn! 16 minutes ago from Power Twitter
5. courtneytrouble #livetweetingporn cyd’s sexy solo scene on a rooftop, shot by james darling, is not something to be missed. what a great orgasm! 27 minutes ago from Power Twitter
6. courtneytrouble #livetweetingporn …now moving into hot bathtub fuck with puck and soma, i LOVE the POV footage. so nasty and fun. great music too. 32 minutes ago from Power Twitter
7. courtneytrouble #livetweetingporn oh my god, fighting over james darling’s hole… doesnt get better that this! 35 minutes ago from Power Twitter
8. courtneytrouble #livetweetingporn god i love genderfucking, ftms, and hot ass black latex gloves 36 minutes ago from Power Twitter
9. courtneytrouble #livetweetingporn next up is cyd loverboy, james darling, and red… such chemistry cannot be contained! hole-fucking & name-calling 43 minutes ago from Power Twitter
10. courtneytrouble #livetweetingporn i think Akria had a crush on the camera person, she keeps giving such lusstfull eyes at the camera! So sexy. about 1 hour ago from Power Twitter
11. courtneytrouble #livetweetingporn http://yfrog.com/9egh0dj akira and chocolate chip about 1 hour ago from Power Twitter
12. courtneytrouble #livetweetingporn akira and chocolate chip’s sex scene is like a lazy, hot, sunny sunday, so steamy, so sexy, im in love. about 1 hour ago from Power Twitter
13. courtneytrouble #livetweetingporn seven minutes in heaven 2: tender hearted. “the booty bus” by blowfly, cant believe he let me use this song!!!!

Photo outside our window, taken by Pepper - best viewed in full screen (click on image)

Gendarmenmarkt, Deutscher Dom

Konzerthaus

Pepper at Checkpoint Charlie

Me, at home in Mitte, taken by Pepper!

Jiz Lee says, it’s like giving birth, sometimes it comes out easy… and sometimes it tries to kill you on the way out. I’m willing to say that Roulette Dirty South tried to kill me on the way out of the womb and perhaps I should avoid making porn during Mercury Retrograde and Moon-Bombings in the future… Memo Recieved. Needless to say it *is* a brilliant film and I hope that it’s sucess matches it’s difficulty to create.

Maybe a painful birth is a symbol of a tough, fierce little child ready to kick some ass, and I think this movie could be it. She’s sweet, and an old-fashioned romantic… but she’s also got exquisite taste in music, fashion, and fetish, and she’s a little on the rough-and-tumble side. It’s only appropriate that her birth would match her brilliant personality. She left stretch marks, you can see them in the bags under my eyes, my aching back, and my cold, stiff, tired little fingers…I’ve been in labor for three weeks.

Instead of having babies, I have art babies. One or two a month actually, although I am probably fertile enough to have like, one million art babies a month. Is there any birth control for creativity?

I am now officially looking for an intern.

Love,

Courtney

Here are some photos from my upcoming film, Roulette: Dirty South.

Photo by Carlos Batts

Photo by Carlos Batts

I love this magazine because it mixes the sex appeal of the models Tuck, Cyd, Elijah, Jay R, and Katastrophe with super-personal interviews about sex, politics, culture, and the process of transitioning. The photography by the great Amos Mac is fantastic, personal, and not over-the-top like the only other photographer I know who focuses on FTM portraits. In fact, everything about Amos’ photography, politics, and personality in this project feels so much more accessible, respectful, real, and creative than that other guy.

The fact that this magazine isn’t just about sex is what really gets me into it. Cyd’s story TRASH is a really beautifully written personal-experience piece about squatting, sex work, and the clarity you find in personal space. Katastrophe’s interview is at first an adorable tale of kitten obsessions mixed with some steamy photos of crotch-and-kitten-book, but moves into a conversation about K’s break from recording, his brush with VH1 Reality fame, and the time he considered “going stealth” and changing his recording name entirely to avoid medical questions during interviews.

It’s a breath-taking magazine that you can say “I get it for the articles,” and mean it. Although, those damn pin-ups are distractingly sexy!!!

It reminds me a lot of that faggy zine BUTT that I love so much, except by and for trans guys. I also love that it’s a totally independent release that Amos and Rocco worked so. fucking. hard. to get out into the world.

Here’s a cute video from the release party taken with my new Flip HD. Still trying to figure out exporting settings, but I’ll get there.

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